Why do I eat McDonalds?

Every time I eat McDonalds I feel ill afterward. It usually lasts about 20 minutes and ends with me unloading the cargo. I don't eat there very often, but about once a month a get a hankering for a number 9 (McNuggets meal), and I give in. I like the McNuggets better than the Chicken Selects. They just taste better... I think it's because I don't really believe that they are chicken. If they are chicken, it's some part of the chicken I don't normally eat (do chickens have lips?). The Selects, on the other hand, are almost certainly chicken, and they just don't taste that good. Anyway, I'm pretty sure it's the fries and not the chicken lips that are making me feel sick because I had the same feeling when I used to get the number 4 (Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese meal). I stopped getting the burgers there when McDonalds started printing ads on the side of their bags that said the burgers contained "100% beef." What the hell percentage of the burger was beef before that? What had I been eating? So, to summarize, I'm ok with eating McNuggets that probably aren't chicken, but I'm not ok with eating a burger that is anything besides beef. The last time I questioned what a burger was made of was when I was about 5 and I tried to convince my dad that, "of course hamburgers are made of pigs, why else would they call them hamburgers?" Yeah, yeah, and we drive on a parkway and park in the driveway. I've learned a lot since then. So, to answer the question: Why do I eat at McDonalds? Because it's so goddamn delicious. That's why.